I Thought That I Would Be in Heaven But I Am Only Up in a Tree

A new monograph by Ryan James Caruthers

In I Thought That I Would Be in Heaven But I am Only up in a Tree, Ryan James Caruthers recounts his time spent in the forest as a child, escaping the societal challenges related to his identity. Despite feeling the unnaturalness imposed upon his young queer body, he found comfort in nature. Caruthers endeavours to rediscover himself within the California landscape, aiming to conjure moments from his adolescence and reconnect with his origins. Inspired by Caspar David Friedrich’s painting THE MONK BY THE SEA, his search for self among the trees evokes an intimate connection akin to that of lovers, reflecting his desire to surrender to an unpredictable force. This series is accompanied by an essay written by Vietnamese American poet, essayist, and novelist Ocean Vuong. Nature itself is queer — a realm of alterity that speaks in a mysterious language of light, wind, and rain.

Published by Forma Editions.

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